Hair Of The Dog - Screenplay

A short screenplay written by Eleanor Reynolds

INT. EVENING - MARCO'S LIVING ROOM

FADE IN.

MUSIC CUE: Instrumental to "Murdaside" by "Mazza_l20"

ZOOM-IN closes in on MARCO. He is sat down on a couch, rolling a marajuana c cigarette, music playing from his phone. The room is filled with smoke, and the lights are dim. There is a noir-type feel to the setting, using chiaroscuro lighting and a black and white filter.

MARCO

Fucks sake man, where's me lighter gone?

He searches around for a lighter. A door can be heard opening and closing from the hallway.

LUIS O.S

(panicked)

Marco! Lad, are you home?

MARCO

Yeah bro. Ay, do you have a lighter on you so I can spark this spliff?

FREEZE FRAME

Marco places the 'spliff' between his lips, text appears on screen showing the definition for spliff.

END OF FREEZE FRAME

The door to Marco's living room opens, and LUIS walks in, throwing a lighter to Marco. Marco lights his 'spliff' sits down, looking over at Luis as he sits down on the armchair across from Marco.

WIDE SHOT on the two boys as they look at each other from across the coffee table.

MARCO

Luis lad, what's up with ye?

LUIS

Has your phone been off? I've been tryna' ring ye'.

MARCO

Why lad, what's goin' on?

LUIS

Big Richie's looking for ye'.

Marco hands Luis the spliff, who takes several drags before handing it back.

MARCO

(confused)

What for? I haven't seen Richie in weeks.

LUIS

Ye' saw him last night when we were down at the Queens, you were twisted though lad, don't think you remember anything after that second bag to be fair. But you owe him dough, probably a couple hundred, knowing you.

CLOSE-UP on Marco's face. Realisation dawns on him and his face drops.

MARCO

Fuck. I do owe him. I can't remember what for though.

LUIS

I don't know lad, but he's on his way over now.

Fast ZOOM-IN CLOSE-UP to Luis' face. He looks down at his lap, pulling a grim expression.

LUIS (CONT.)

And he's bringing the dog.

The music playing from Marco's phone ends. Luis looks back up at Marco.

FAST ZOOM-IN CLOSE-UP to Marco's face.

MARCO

Not the dog.

Marco jumps up and paces around the room. He takes several drags from the 'spliff'.

MARCO (CONT.)

Fuck, lad what am I gonna do? Richie is gonna kill me!

He sits back on the couch, and puts his head in his hands.

MARCO (CONT.)

I don't have enough dough to pay off hundreds; I've only got a score on me. Literally, what the fuck do I do?

Marco's phone chimes from where it was left on the table, he picks it up and looks at the screen, which reads

MESSAGES: Big Man Richie - I'll be outside in a minute

Marco groans and stands up again and makes his way to the kitchen, 'spliff' in hand; Luis follows suit.

LUIS

It's fine lad, maybe he'll let you get it on tick?

FREEZE FRAME

Text appears on screen again, displaying the definition for 'on tick'.

END OF FREEZE FRAME

MARCO

Nah mate, you know what Richie's like-

Marco rummages through the drawers in his kitchen. Luis stands there, shaking his head.

MARCO (CONT.)

I'm gonna have to find something to protect meself, that dog is vicious.

He continues to go through the contents of his kitchen drawers.

MARCO (CONT.)

I'll have to just find something to protect meself-

He continues looking through the drawers.

MARCO (CONT.)

That dog is fuckin' vicious.

Marco exclaims in delight, and pulls a pair of plastic serving tongs out of the drawer. Luis bursts out laughing.

LUIS

What are ye' gonna do with them lad? Grab it by the balls?

MARCO

It's a girl ye' dope, I'll just use these to bite back.

LUIS

(laughing)

You're stupid you mate, I don't think a pair of tongs is gonna do anything against that beast.

Marco walks back into the living room and starts pacing the room again. Luis follows in behind him, still laughing.

LUIS (CONT.)

Just accept fate Marc, let the dog bite you a few times, scream like a girl, and maybe Richie will let you off easy.

DOG BARKING

Against the wall across from the window, the shadows of a large hooded figure, and a large dog with a spiked collar are cast against the wall, getting closer to the front door.

MARCO

(grimly)

It's him.

DOORBELL RINGS

The two boys stand up, and walk into the hallway. As they move closer to the front door, soft growling can be heard. Marco and Luis reach the door, look at each other and nod.

LUIS

You've got this mate.

Luis reaches for the handle as Marco wields the tongs in front of him. Luis swings the door open, Marco starts forward, and the black and white filter fades away, the frame becomes unfocused.

RE-FOCUS

An older gentleman, wearing a raincoat and glasses, with a grin on his face stands in the doorframe. It's RICHIE.

RICHIE

Y'alright lads?

A yapping sound comes from off-screen.

CAMERA PANS DOWN

A chihuahua sits next to Richie's legs, yapping loudly at Marco and Luis.

CAMERA PANS UP

Richie stands at the door smiling.

CAMERA TURNS 180 DEGREES AROUND to the boys. They look at each other again, hen back at Richie.

CAMERA PANS 180 DEGREES AROUND to Richie.

RICHIE

Sorry Marco mate, I was just coming to pick up that score for the 20s I gave you last night.

THE CAMERA PANS 180 DEGREES around to the boys. Marco looks confused, Luis is trying not to laugh. Marco lowers the tongs and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a £20 note.

MARCO

Yeah mate here it is. Sorry about these-

He waves the tongs in front of him.

MARCO (CONT.)

We were just making something to eat.

He looks over at Luis, who is still trying not to laugh.

RICHIE

Ye' it's sound mate, no worries. See you later!

He walks away waving, the chihuahua still barking. Marco closes the door.

MARCO

You're a fucking dickhead lad.

Luis finally bursts out laughing, folded in half and wheezing.

LUIS

Lad- I can't believe you fell for that.

MARCO

You know I hate that fucking dog! I was terrified, I thought I owed him loads. That weed's got me paranoid, I need to pack it in.

LUIS

I've never met anyone so scared of dogs in my life. It's a chihuahua lad, what's it gonna do? Yap until your ears bleed?

MARCO

Argh shurrup, he's set that little rat on me before, it's teeth are like razor blades.

He shudders. Luis keeps laughing as Marco shoves him into the wall. He runs off down the hallway and Luis chases after him.

FADE OUT.

Word Count: 1127 words